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Interview with the author of The Death of Sex and the Demise of Monogamy and Malignant Self Love, Sam Vaknin (Part I)
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» » Interview with the author of The Death of Sex and the Demise of Monogamy and Malignant Self Love, Sam Vaknin (Part I)

Interview with the author of The Death of Sex and the Demise of Monogamy and Malignant Self Love, Sam Vaknin (Part I)

Post by: Kabita Sonowal


1. Many thanks for this interview, Sam. It has been quite a while since we last interacted . What books are you reading at the moment? Is there any book in particular that you would recommend to our readers?

A. Thank you for having me again. I just finished reading Umberto Eco’s magisterial “Prague Cemetery”. It provides a completely implausible account of how the forgery widely known and disseminated as “The Protocols of the Elders of Zion” came to be in 19th century Europe. Yet, it is its very narrative audacity that renders this novel panoramic, breathtaking, thrilling, and kaleidoscopic. If you want to understand the miasmic metastasis that was pre-Hitler Europe, this is the book for you. I am now enjoying a well-earned respite with H.R.F. Keating’s Inspector Ghote: a magical mystery tour in the India of the mid-20th century.

2. What do we read from you next?

A. I have just published my latest tome “The Death of Sex and the Demise of Monogamy” available, among others, from Amazon. Sex is dead as is monogamous marriage. What will replace them? Read about alternative lifestyles (such as swinging), sexual preferences (such as bi- and homosexuality), sexual paraphilias (such as incest, fetishism, and pedophilia), and the role of malignant narcissism in the disintegration of all relationships between men and women.

3. Apart from Narcissus, who all would you list as being narcissistic in history and mythology?

A. Both Hitler and Stalin have been remote-diagnosed as narcissists by the preeminent psychoanalyst Erich Fromm. In July 2008, I suggested that Obama may be a narcissist. But only a qualified mental health diagnostician can determine whether someone suffers from Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) and this, following lengthy tests and personal interviews.

4. What is that one genre that you would like to dabble in future?

A. I have published poetry, sci-fi, short stories, essays, anthologies of articles, and full-scale non-fiction (the newest reiteration of “Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited” is 680 pages long!). I tried my hand at writing novels, but I do not have the stamina such as Herculean undertaking seems to require.

5. Your main work revolves around malignant or pathological narcissism. Why?
A. I am an author, columnist, editor, and financial advisor. I had been diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) twice, when I have hit rock bottom, in the throes of binges of self-defeat and self-destruction. My psychological defenses rendered impotent by self-wrought circumstances, I began to study this pernicious mental affliction. There was very little to be found, so I was forced to invent my own vocabulary (now widely accepted and disseminated). I spent the last 16 years corresponding with thousands of narcissists, tens of thousands of their victims, and hundreds of mental health practitioners. I maintain several web sites regarding this and related disorders and a YouTube channel with my instructional videos. I am also the author of “Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited” and other books, e-books, and video lectures about personality disorders.

6. Why NPD? What moves you to tackle this topic on your websites and video channel?
A. The compulsive need to garner attention and the constraint of having to make a living out of my own freakishness.

7. Is it difficult to diagnose NPD?
A. Self-interested protestations of numerous diagnosticians notwithstanding, it is nearly impossible to diagnose narcissism and psychopathy (antisocial personality disorder) if the patient refuses to collaborate. The psychological “tests” are risible and rely on self-reporting by pathological liars and masters of cooption and manipulation (narcissists, psychopaths) as well as their cowed family members and “friends”.

8. Narcissists are "good" at destroying or damaging relationships ...
A. Narcissists have no relationships. They are parasitic predators who are addicted to narcissistic supply (attention, admiration, adulation, being feared). They form liaisons only with sources of such supply and only for as long as the supply lasts. They charm their prospective prey, manipulate and exploit their targets, extract the inputs that they are compelled to consume, and then off-handedly devalue and discard what remains of their “lovers”, co-workers, “friends”, fans, and interlocutors. They are relentless, merciless (they lack empathy), and robotic in this single-minded pursuit.
Narcissists are haughty, hopeless team players, and delusional. Their grandiose fantasies often translate into self-defeating conduct. They frequently alienate their nearest and dearest and self-destruct spectacularly.


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